My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
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