Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
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