Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I just made out with a guy for $7.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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