You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
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