Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize