By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
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