so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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