I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
