she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
