I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
