Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize
