idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
He keeps bees of course he's weird
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
