Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I just blew my weed a kiss
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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