isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
