your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Come share oat with me in your robe
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
