so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
