yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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