Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
im holly from the hills drunk
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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