real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
