doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
