Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize
