He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
tell me about the eggs
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
