dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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