Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
