We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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