I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
