Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
never play flip cup with pint glasses
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
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