My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
