Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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