My hair reeks of homosexuality.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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