After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
So much Jack, so little girl.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Randomize
