this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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