so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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