not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
