Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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