Having a random hookup so left but love u
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
