i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Randomize
