You're a womanizer and a bitch.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
