If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
