He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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