She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
