i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize