if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
this just has baby written all over it
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
