your thong is hanging out like whoa
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
