My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
