Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
