Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I love how my cats smell like pot.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
