thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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