I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
