Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
