i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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