oh fat girl friday strikes again...
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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