My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
