i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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