And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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