you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
