I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
they're like a gay fantastic four
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
