...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
