Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
