Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
