just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
