batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Randomize
