New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
