we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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